Frankly, I am both, with restrictions. I would never wear pants to Sunday Mass. "Sunday Best" has been a tradition for decades and I am all about tradition, pants would clash with my veil. I would never wear pants to the Friary. I would be the only one there (female) wearing them. The Friars prefer a woman in a skirt and I respect that. Tbj, for all of his controlling, never made me wear a skirt, even when he was acting as uber-Catholic, head-of-household. Yet, I would let some of my "friends" bully me into it, and make me feel like a prostitute when I would appear *gasp* in public, in pants.
I never dress immodestly. I don't wear tight pants. I don't wear baggy ones, either, as I feel those are sloppy looking and very unattractive. I let my daughters wear pants at times, also, as I prefer the younger ones in the super-easy Lands End dresses for style and because my little girls are so thin, that even slim pants leave a plumber's crack.
I really don't think that the dress/pants debate is productive. I am beginning to feel that I spend way too much time in front of this screen. I want to write, I love writing. I started this blog for a few very important reasons: I wanted to see if anyone was interested in anything I had to say (was I marketable as a writer, or simply just wasting my time), I wanted to broadcast the constant injustice dished out to myself and my children at the hands of Susan, tbj, and the family court system for safety sake, and I simply needed a means to vent occasionally because I didn't want to succumb to other venues of release.
From this day forward, I will wear pants when I want to and not feel guilty, dress appropriately when the occasion calls, and change the theme of my usual writing, because let's face it, I need to be more optimistic.
God bless you. And I'm completely with you on the pants thing. I prefer skirts for a multitude of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with modesty over pants. Since I'm not sporting tight pants, I think I'm clear. Sometimes I feel guilty wearing pants, but that's only after I read the blogs of women opposed to pants. It's like the whole church music thing ... I love traditional music, I love a traditional mass, but (gasp) I also love contemporary music and (gasp again) appropriate contemporary Catholic music. It doesn't make me less Catholic. The cafeteria is closed. I just like music done well. Both done poorly are akin to torture. Both types done well add to the beauty of the liturgy. So there. I said it. God bless you. I look forward to receiving your book. And keep up trying to harness that optimistic p.o.v. And don't beat yourself up if you can't always. Fight the good fight, lady.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Kristin. I too followed Simcha's pantifesto and enjoyed reading her wit immensely. I see your pointnabout not wearing pants while veiled. I think it would lookmrather silly.
ReplyDeleteI listen to the likes of Muse (one of my favorites) and lately Flyleaf, and even some Nine Inch Nails (the horror) but put Awesome God on the altar with a guitar accompaniment, and I will be thoroughly offended. A time and a place.
ReplyDeleteI would LOVE for there to be some reason I could grab and hold close to justify women needing to wear skirts, and if they could be long and Edwardian in style - all the better! However, try as I might, I can find no arguable reason to push my preference. Modest, clean. That's about it. I never wore pants until my teenaged son asked me to, and he actually compliments me when I do, and that is pretty convincing. If pants are dressy, I don't even see any reason not to wear them to church (though with a veil - that would be odd). I think most people think of dresses as being "dressed up". I am occasionally asked why I'm "so dressed up" when I am wearing a dress that I just scrubbed the kitchen floor in.
ReplyDeleteThe whole pants vs. skirts debate reminds me of a story from my childhood. I was rasied Baptist back in the late 60's early 70's. My parents were attending the young couples get together on a weeknight. It was a cold and snowy night and the leader of the couples group called the women and told them that due to the weather it would be fine if they wore pants that evening. When the reverend found out the women were going to wear pants, he turned the heat off in the old drafty church. That meeting didn't last long at all.
ReplyDeleteJust got back from the beach, saw a big group of conservative Mennonites (like Amish but they drive cars and wear buttons)- 'modesty' is so relative!!! At this point, I will just dress as advised for entry to St Peter's.
ReplyDeleteI guess alot of women haven't had the unfortunate experiences that I have had.
ReplyDeleteSome men are more drawn to a woman’s chest area, some the thighs, some the rear. Growing up with a (good Catholic) father and brother who couldn’t help check out women’s rear ends educated me in the difficulites many men have with women in pants.
After watching Brooke Shields roll around on the floor purring that nothing comes between her and her Calvin Kleins, my mom ran out and got me a pair at age 13. From that point on I received many comments from guys at school about how great my a– is. I was no longer a person– I was a butt.
Whether tight or loose pants still draw the eye to a woman’s private areas both in front and in back. I recently read the book All Creatures Great and Small where the country vet courts a young lady in the 1930s who was one of the first to don the new style, and he remarks while walking behind her that there really are some advantages to this new style a man can appreciate. Sounds kind of cute and innocent enough, until you fast forward to our time when every magazine at the checkout is screaming at you to get that perfect butt!
Recently at the doctor’s office they played videos in the waiting room on current “health” issues. This weeks issue: How to Get a Butt Like J-Lo. The (male) doctor and (male) professional trainer discussed various strategies as they watched video clips which zoomed in on J-Lo’s rear end.
Because I didn't want my daughters to hear such comments, and I hope their rear ends are the last things on their mind, I came to the conclusion that skirts would provide a better "veiling".
The sense of a woman’s dignity as a person, and especially the dignity of motherhood is being degraded and causing such a distortion of a woman’s true worth. For instance, my husband had lunch with a devout Catholic friend who’s beautiful blonde barbie-doll wife has had eight children. He said he can’t get her to stop crying about how big her butt is, no matter how much he tells her how beautiful she is.
Another eye-opener was reading how Junipero Serra and the missionaries had to teach the natives to turn their women around and face them when having relations, rather than just approaching them from behind. Hence the "missionary position" which was intended to promote a less animal approach to the marriage act. Lust turns men into animals, and our culture is returning to this native mindset.
Of course, as with any pious practice, if you fast, recite prayers or wear skirts with an attitude of superiority and pride, then you are an hypocrite. This doesn’t mean we need to throw out the baby with the bathwater. It means we have to change our interior dispostion to one of love. Love for ourselves and our feminine dignitiy as persons, love for the men who are caused to stumble in their thought life by women’s body parts being revealed to them, and love for our neighbor who can simply be unaware of these problems either because they haven’t personally experienced them, or it hasn’t been explained to them in a clear and charitable way.
I love Lucy's post. It is very interesting how differently we begin to view the world when we ourselves look at it through the lens of our daughters hearts. Who in the world would dress their daughter in some of the pants and even skirts with words written across the back-end. We wonder why we have child molesters when the fashion world wants us to dress our daughters like prostitutes.
ReplyDeleteI dress more modestly as an example to my daughter and quite frankly she is naturally modest. I just wonder how many girls would be more modest if they hadn't been dressed like "cute little" tramps since they were two.